Bad College Essays 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

Bad College Essays 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid SAT / ACT Prep Online Guides and Tips Just as there are noteworthy examples ofexcellent college essaysthat admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples ofterrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards. While I won’t guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won’t end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays – and what to do toif you end up creating one by accident. What Makes Bad College Essays Bad What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matterwith poor execution. Problems With the Topic The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flubwhat the essay is about or how you’ve decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily createan essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I’ll discuss in the next section. The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren’t on your transcript.So if you start witha terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes. Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don’t have a good sense of judgment or maturity, which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have tobe able to handle independent life on campus. Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person, or someone who doesn’t process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since collegeswant to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students. Still other bad topics indicate that you'reunaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself, which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officersare looking for people who can do that. Problems With the Execution Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you’ve structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style. One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics, like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that’s expected from a high school graduate. Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you'reeither someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them. Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already. Ignoring directions to this degree is not creative, just annoying. College Essay Topics To Avoid Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories. Too Personal The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something veryprivate can show that you don’t really understand boundaries. And knowing where appropriate boundaries arewill be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you. Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level:if it’s not something you’d tell a friendlystranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don’t tell it to the admissions office. Examples: Describinglosing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn’t mean you can’t write about your sexual orientation – just leave out the actual physical act. Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value. Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other.Your relationshipis adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life. Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety.Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one. Some secrets are better behind lock and key. Or behind industrial strengthrack and pinion matching machined gears and pressure bolt. Too Revealing of Bad Judgment Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoralactions out of your essay. It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you. Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you’re in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you'veturned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up. Examples: Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unlessit's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay. Describingdrug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine. Making upfictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar. Detailing yourpersonality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement. You're better off not airing your dirty laundry out in public. Seriously, no one wants to smell those socks. Too Overconfident While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies. Examples: Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play. Having no awareness of the actual scope ofyour accomplishments.It's lovelythat you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn’t make you a saintly figure. Cheering on a team? Awesome. Cheering on yourself? A little obnoxious. Too Clichà ©d or Boring Remember your reader. In this case, you're tryingto make yourself memorable to anadmissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays. If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won’t register in that person’s mind as anything worth paying attention to. Examples: Transcribingyour resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks youto write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about afacet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application. Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be. Beingmoved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed athow happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about thistends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don’t do it. Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very commonexperience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you’re going to write about death or divorce, make sure tofocus on how youdealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic. Going meta.Don’t write about the fact that you’re writing the essay as we speak,and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader'shand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways. Offering your ideas on how tofix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me,there's just no way you are being realisticallyappreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing. Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive. Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality.â€Å"Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me.† Shoes are from several centuries ago and tend to be used as flower vases. And that's true for me too! Too Off-Topic Unlike the essays you’ve been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future.Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context. Examples: Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn’t the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the waysyou've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future. Documentinghow well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantasticlearning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements. Concentrating ona work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing ananalytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you’ve been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexasapplicationto get some advice on writing about someone else's workwhile making sure your essay still points back at you. If you write your essay about art, be theguy all the way on the right, looking right at the audience to explain what's happening. Don't be the guy who is totally absorbed bywhat he's looking at. (Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons) Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now: Too Offensive With this potential mistake, you run the risk ofshowing a lack of self-awareness orthe ability to be open to new ideas. Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that’s what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inabilityto communicate successfully with others. Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that. Examples: Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay standson any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person. Writing aone-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate. Mentioninganything negative about the school you’re applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices. Don't make your reader feel like they've suddenly gotten in the ring with you. College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you’re writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic – the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list. Tone-Deafness Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life – these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness. Examples: Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off. Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn’t know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommendthe simplest and most straightforward version:being self-deprecating and low-key. Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone. Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life. Edvard Munch probably didn't submit "The Scream" as his admissions essay. He smartly saved all that existential angst for his post-bac! (Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain], via Wikimedia Commons) Lack of Personality One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay? If the answer is yes, then you aren’t doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It’s very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student. Examples: Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible. Skipping overdescription and specific detailsin favor ofwriting only in vague generalities. Does yournarrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, whichcould apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you’re doing it wrong and need to refocus onyourreaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation. Your college essay isn't the place to be indistinguishable. Off-Kilter Style There’s some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn’t a free-for-all postmodern art class. True, there areprompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences. Examples: Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot ofurban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time. Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form.Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different. Using as many â€Å"fancy† words as possible and getting very faraway from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hearyournot fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it. If you dress like this every day, you can use all the fancy words you like. Failure to Proofread Most people have a hard time checking overtheir own work. This is why you have tomake sure that someone else proofreads your writing. This is the one place where you can, should – and really must – get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft. Otherwise, you look likeyou either don’t know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don’t care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?). Examples: Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand. Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant. Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read. Repetition: excellent for mastering the long jump, terrible for keeping a reader's interest. Bad College Essay Examples – And How to Fix Them The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So ifyou think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can’t bear being touched, you’ll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up! Nowlet’s take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed. Essay #1: The â€Å"I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak† Meta-Narrative Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all. In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishingthe college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans formy October, November and December. Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my momto talk about colleges. â€Å"Maybe you should write about Star Trek,† she suggested, â€Å"you know how you’ve always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll soundcreative!† I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like justa guy who can't getover the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossedmy essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. I fell into astate of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senioryear. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomoreyear, and performing"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public.And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as thecherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes. After 3 weeksof figuring myself out, I have convertedmyself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transforma human being into 603words surely deservesa gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voiceand decided that this was not the right essay either. In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trekand my enthusiasm forTREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays. With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree. What Essay #1 Does Well Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is. Killer First Sentence Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. Funny, striking, memorable – this sentence has it all: A strange fact.There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway? A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical.What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way? Direct engagement with the reader.Instead of asking â€Å"what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house† it asks â€Å"wasyour house ever destroyed." Speaking of tornadoes, how awesome was the Wizard of Oz? Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. The author has hiscake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trekmythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computeralone in hisroom. You know, just in case. A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activismcouldcapture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words. Great Exit With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree. The essay illustrates its own stopping by having the narrator literally stop in the middle of a hike and narrowly avoid a collision. That’s funny and clever without being too gimmicky. The ending should be short and sweet, so your reader doesn't start wishing you'd turn into a human cannonball. (Image: fir0002via Wikimedia Commons.) Where Essay #1 Needs Revision Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine. Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all. In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishingthe college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans formy October, November and December. After 3 weeksof figuring myself out, I have convertedmyself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transforma human being into 603words surely deservesa gold medal. Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience. In the rewrite, I’d advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get tothe meat of the actual essay. Letting Other People Do All the Doing I sat down with my momto talk about colleges. â€Å"Maybe you should write about Star Trek,† she suggested, â€Å"you know how you’ve always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll soundcreative!† Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do.Not only that, but it sounds like both of the â€Å"incomplete† essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative. In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Stark Trekand the TREE versions of the essay as the author’s own thoughts rather than someone else’s suggestions. This way, the point of the essay – taking apart the idea that a college essay couldsummarize life experience – is earned by the author’s two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay. Don't be a passive panda. Be an active antelope. Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences Both the Star Trekfandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author – important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates.But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life. It’s fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves. In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests. How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today? Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix So, I tossedmy essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voiceand decided that this was not the right essay either. In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn'tcapture about the author.In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities. For example, after the Star Trekparagraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discussart forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who lovesStar Trek. Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting – is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist? Star Trek fans are a dime a dozen. But a Trekkie who is also a graffiti aficionado? Now that's a novel intersection of cultural tastes. Want to build the best possible college application? We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. Essay #2: The â€Å"I Once Saw Poor People† Service Trip Essay Unlike other teenagers, I’m not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteenyear-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on lifechanged after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn’t have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us. During the summer of 2006, I went on a community servicetrip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to helpthe unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies cryingfrom hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got tothe farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten daysI was there, it would be mine too. As all of this re alization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch adisease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice askingme in Spanish, â€Å"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?† I looked down to see a small boy, around nineyears of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate aheadof themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all? Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive. What Essay #2Does Well Let's first point out what this draft has going for it. Clear Chronology This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out. Arranging your narrative in order of what happened when is a simple and surefire strategy. (Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons) Where Essay #2Needs Revision Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster. Condescending, Obnoxious Tone Unlike other teenagers, I’m not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteenyear-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. This is a very broad generalization, which doesn’t tend to be the best way to formulate an argument – or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population. In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on â€Å"other teenagers,† most of whom she doesn’t know and will never meet. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us. Coming from someonewho hasn’t earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word â€Å"compassion† sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves. Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boythe author was clearly not looking all that â€Å"fortunate† – instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting. Inthe nextdraft, a better hook could be making the essayabout the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip. A more meaningful essay would compare and contrastthe points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child’s point of view. It may help to imagine you have the compound eyes of an insect. How many different perspectives can you see and describe? Vague, Unobservant Description During the summer of 2006, I went on a community servicetrip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to helpthe unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies cryingfrom hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. Phrases likeâ€Å"cries of the small children from not having enough to eat† and â€Å"dirt stained rags† seem likedescriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyedgeneralizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid? The same goes forâ€Å"filthy rags,† which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmerssotheir clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had â€Å"stains† on it. The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. If this is the â€Å"most vivid memory,† then I would expect to read all the details that havebeen seared into the author'sbrain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did theyget there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace? There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass. Reading vague generalizations is like trying to make sense of this blurry picture. Is it flowers? Holiday lights? Confetti? Who knows. And after a while, who cares? Lack of Insight or Maturity But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten daysI was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch adisease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature. After all, this isn’t a a solo wilderness trek – the authoris there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips? In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered. Unearned, Clichà ©d â€Å"Deep Thoughts† But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive. Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the authorwas shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence.But what does â€Å"there is more to life than just being alive† even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur. In a rewrite,the essayshould becompletely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new versioncan end byon a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people’s perspectives. It's important to include deep thoughts and insights into your essay - just make sure your narrative supports your conclusions! The Bottom Line Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution. The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence. The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don’t know how to write, or don’t care enough to do it well. The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness. The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations. What’s Next? Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examplespublished by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic. Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applicationsfor advice. Are you considering takingthe SAT or ACTagain before you submit your application? Read aboutour famous test prep guides for hints and strategiesfora better score. Want to improve your SAT score by 160points or your ACT score by 4 points?We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

707 week 12 Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words

707 week 12 - Assignment Example I would contact my employer for submission of the EBP project because the corporate body authored the work and claiming individual authorship would be a breach of honesty and integrity (Macfarlane, 2010). Conducting an independent research and submitting its report would however be moral, because no other party’s intellectual property rights would be infringed. Such an independent study would also be necessary to validate deviation from expected results from the initial EBP project that could have resulted from changes in the healthcare environment. Findings of the EBP project should be disseminated despite realization of contrary results to the hypothesis. This is because a hypothesis is an indicator of expectations but not a criterion for validity or reliability. The results could further be indicators of emergent factors that shift outcomes from previous observation and dissemination is likely to inform relevant stakeholders of the possible shifts and facilitate further results for validation. Dissemination should however be done under authorship of the

Compare and contrast the development strategies of Mao Zedong and Deng Essay

Compare and contrast the development strategies of Mao Zedong and Deng Xiaoping. Examine the successes and failures of each strategy - Essay Example The focus on economic and agricultural reform is what made the two leaders very similar. That is, they were both concerned about improving their country through agricultural and economic reform. More so, they were both communists looking forward to lead China in that direction. They both started many social, cultural and economic reforms in which some failed and some were successful. According to Deng, socialism was a means to economic development (Ash, Howe and Kueh 2013, p.15). Deng Xiaoping has been identified as a good leader whose actions led to the improvement of the Chinese society. On the other hand, Mao’s actions resulted in more damage than good for the Chinese citizens. Notably, Mao Zedong suggested many strategies in the establishment of Chinese socialism. Some of these included large-scale land reforms and collectivization of agriculture, which were meant to recover the economy and modernize China. In addition, he transformed the living standards of individuals in rural areas by improving healthcare and introducing middle-school education (Bramall 2008, p.549). The land reforms were marked with the enactment of the Agrarian Reform Law of 1950, which aimed at dismantling China’s feudal system (Shen 2000, p.3). After land reforms, individuals were able to produce more and the increased production provided enough raw materials for industrial development. Thereafter in 1958, Mao introduced the Great Leap Forward under which high targets were created for industry and agriculture. Mao hoped that China could catch up with Britain in steel and other industries, and so he introduced the collectivization of agriculture under which individuals were t o leave their land and join cooperatives. However, this policy failed and had catastrophic impacts as individual’s working incentives declined leading to food shortage. About fifteen million Chinese people lost their lives due to

Consequences of Altered Prenatal Environment

Consequences of Altered Prenatal Environment Discuss the evidence that an altered prenatal environment (e.g. due to maternal nutritional status, stress or exposure to chemicals) has long-term consequences for reproductive function of the offspring. The Developmental Origins of Health and Disease (DOHaD) hypothesis focuses on the idea that non-communicable diseases, such as coronary heart disease and diabetes, have origins in foetal development. The embryo or foetus can be exposed to certain challenges during its development that permanently alter the physiological development of that organism and this can show its effects postnatally later on in life (Moore 2017). A lot of focus has been directed towards metabolic dysfunction and problems with the cardiovascular system, but more recently it has become apparent that there are also lifelong effects of the prenatal environment on reproductive function of the offspring. Aspects of the prenatal environment include maternal malnutrition, maternal stress, maternal alcohol consumption, and maternal smoking, amongst others, which can all influence the development of the foetus and its health outcomes later on in life. However, there is a lack of evidence for humans, although offspring o f mothers affected by the Dutch Famine have been followed up throughout their life to see the effects of the acute maternal undernutrition (de Rooij et al. 2016) (Painter et al. 2006), therefore a lot of the experiments are performed on rodent, porcine and ovine models. While there are a number of differences between the mammalian models and humans, such as duration of gestation and sensitivity to the maternal environment, there are periods of exceptional vulnerability that are similar in both mammalian models and humans which allow us to map the effects of an altered prenatal environment from these animals to humans (Zambrano et al. 2014). The incidence of non-communicable diseases in adults significantly increases when maternal nutrition is compromised at vital periods of foetal development (Chavatte-Palmer et al. 2008). During the periconceptional period, it appears that the embryo has a degree of developmental plasticity and it takes advantage of this when being exposed to certain challenges in the maternal environment. This means that it changes the way it develops and adapts to the surrounding environment, which has consequences for later life. This is illustrated by the epidemiological study of female survivors of the Dutch Famine in World War II, which has shown altered reproductive function of their female offspring who were conceived during the famine. The offspring were found to have irregular menstrual cycles, increased risk of breast cancer and a younger age at which they underwent menopause (Sloboda et al. 2011). There was no significant change in the reproductive function in adults whose mothers were expo sed to the famine during late stages of pregnancy when compared to adults who were born before the famine (Painter et al. 2006), which suggests that the time around conception is very sensitive to the maternal environment. The study was conducted by authors who were fortunate to be able to collect the data that they did because, for obvious ethical reasons, a study like this could not be purposefully carried out on humans. As inhumane as the famine was, it has provided us with some useful data to ascertain what is happening in utero when maternal nutrition is compromised. Animal studies of maternal undernutrition have been conducted to add to the findings of the Dutch Famine epidemiology. In ewes, the female offspring had decreased rates of ovulation after experiencing prenatal undernutrition. Even earlier, it was found that the foetal ovary at day 47 already had altered concentrations of oogonia and meiotic arrest in the ovary was delayed even longer than usual on day 62 of foetal life (Sloboda et al. 2011). Growth restricted rats have shown staggered onset of signs of sexual maturation, for example first oestrus, mating and attainment of full fertility were separated in time rather than being simultaneous (Sloboda et al. 2011). Moreover, pregnant ewes on a calorie restricted diet produced offspring who grew up to have reduced ovarian and granulosa cell proliferation and increased apoptosis in their ovaries. This could be due to a change in the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis activity or hormonal environment in the ovary which is regulated by the mothers nutritional status (Sloboda et al. 2011). Furthermore, maternal protein restriction in rats delays seminiferous tubule lumen formation and increases apoptosis of germ cells during the neonatal period. Histological sections of the testes of male offspring show some tubules with no lumen at all at even when they have a control diet after birth (Zambrano et al. 2014). Also, apoptosis in the testes of male neonates at postnatal day 14 is increased in those who have experience maternal protein restriction either during pregnancy, during lactation, or during both (Zambrano et al. 2014). There have been many animal studies done using various mammalian models to produce data that we can apply to humans. So far, the data has been reproducible but it is still early days in this field of science so the longer these experiments are reproduced in different models, the better and more sure we can be when advising mothers of the risk their diet may have on the health and reproductive potential of their offspring. Although poverty and undernutrition remain global crises, it is clear that overfeeding and the obesity epidemic in the Western World come with severe implications on health of the population and future generations. Several studies in animal models have demonstrated that maternal overnutrition can affect the fertility of the offspring later on in life. For example, in pregnant sheep that are overfed, the offspring experience intrauterine growth restriction and are born small for their gestational age, but also the females are born with ovarian retardation (Chavatte-Palmer et al. 2008). Additional studies have been done and have other, similar conclusions for female offspring fertility. A mouse study shows that mothers fed high fat diets during pregnancy produced female offspring with a 4-fold reduction in the number of primordial follicles in their ovaries (Cheong et al. 2014). This could be due to them having an early onset of puberty, similar to the female offspring of mothers who h ad calorie restricted diets. Similarly, the female offspring in this cohort also had fewer (1.4-fold decrease in number) antral follicles developing into Graafian follicles in their ovaries (Cheong et al. 2014). However, the cohort sizes in this study were unfortunately quite small (10-15 mice per group) and it is unclear whether or not the groups were exposed to different nutritional challenges at the same time to ensure that the process was standardised. The results could be improved by repeating them with another cohort of mice and perhaps repeating the study in different species of mice to eliminate species-specific adaptations to maternal nutrition. If the same results are able to be replicated across other mouse species, then it is more plausible that these results might also be seen in humans. Some oestrogenic compounds have been observed to have effects on ovary development in later life of neonatal rodents that were exposed to the compounds prenatally. Two examples are activin and oestrogen derivatives (Woodruff and Walker 2008). Female rats exposed prenatally to oestradiol benzoate had delayed follicle and interstitial development by day 14 of age. By day 21, many of the larger follicles in the ovary were delayed in development at the preantral and small antral follicular stage. This suggests that oestrogens inhibit follicular development (Ikeda et al. 2001). As the rats mature, the inhibited development could delay the onset of sexual maturity in the females and puberty wouldnt occur until later. It is known that steroidogenic factor 1 (SF1-) controls development of the ovary (Hanley et al. 2000), so expression levels of genes that SF-1 regulates were studied in ovaries treated with oestradiol benzoate (Ikeda et al. 2001). It was found that ovarian tissue treated with oestradiol benzoate had downregulated SF-1 as well as genes including StAR and P450SCC, which have their expression controlled under SF-1 activity. This downregulation was present from postnatal day 6-21 and was relative to control ovary. Other genes were found to not change with oestradiol benzoate treatment and some had increased expression after treatment. This results indicate that oestrogen derivatives can influence different genes related to SF-1 to be upregulated or downregulated during development of the ovary (Ikeda et al. 2001). Maternal stress during pregnancy is another important factor affecting development and function of the offsprings reproductive system. Corticosteroids are an important class of steroid hormone involved in the stress response and over exposure to these hormones can elicit changes in the developing reproductive system of the foetus. Administration of dexamethasone during pregnancy in rats is associated with various outcomes, such as delayed onset of puberty in both offspring sexes, less follicles in the ovaries of female pups, and lower blood testosterone levels in male pups (Zambrano et al. 2014). Other corticosteroids, such as betamethasone, have shown impaired sperm quality and fertility in male pups (Zambrano et al. 2014). These findings indicate that maternal stress should be kept to a minimum during pregnancy in order to maximise the reproductive potential of her offspring. Although a certain degree of maternal stress is to be expected during pregnancy, chronic exposure to certai n stress hormones can be detrimental to the developing foetus. Having said this, it is unclear what concentrations of these corticosteroids were administered to the pregnant rats, therefore it is difficult to determine what levels of these in the mother could cause developmental restrictions in the foetus. These results arguably are difficult to translate into humans when thinking about impact of human maternal stress on our offspring. Furthermore, human stress is difficult to control, unlike diet or smoking, so it is unfair to attribute blame to the mother for the relative fertility of her offspring when she perhaps cannot control the changes in her uterine environment if shes become stressed during pregnancy. Evidence in the literature supporting this hypothesis is vast and thus not all evidence has been covered. Even though the evidence provided is mostly from animal models, the results can be translated to humans as well, since there are similarities in physiology and metabolism across all mammalian species. The animal models do have their limitations, such as being more or less sensitive to certain stimuli than humans and having different behavioural adaptations, but they also come baring less ethical issues with their exposure to laboratory experiments. That being said, it should also be considered that these animal models have been exposed to extremes of malnutrition and specific nutrient deficiencies, so when interpreting the results to advise pregnant women they should be presented to show that a balance of nutrition is fundamental to maintain a healthy pregnancy and ultimately healthy offspring with normal reproductive function. References CHAVATTE-PALMER, P. et al., 2008. Nutrition maternelle : incidence sur la fertilità © de la descendance et importance de la pà ©riode pà ©riconceptionelle pour le long terme. Gynà ©cologie Obstà ©trique Fertilità ©, 36(9), 920-929 CHEONG, Y. et al., 2014. Diet-induced maternal obesity alters ovarian morphology and gene expression in the adult mouse offspring. Fertility and Sterility, 102(3), 899-907 HANLEY, N.A. et al., 2000. Steroidogenic factor 1 (SF-1) is essential for ovarian development and function. Molecular and Cellular Endocrinology, 163(1-2), 27-32 IKEDA, Y. et al., 2001. Neonatal estrogen exposure inhibits steroidogenesis in the developing rat ovary. Developmental Dynamics, 221(4), 443-453 MOORE, S.E., 2017. Early-Life Nutritional Programming of Health and Disease in The Gambia. Annals of Nutrition Metabolism PAINTER, R.C. et al., 2006. Early onset of coronary artery disease after prenatal exposure to the Dutch famine. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 84(2), 322-327 DE ROOIJ, S.R. et al., 2016. Prenatal Undernutrition and Autonomic Function in Adulthood. Psychosomatic Medicine, 78(9), 991-997 SLOBODA, D.M., M. HICKEY and R. HART, 2011. Reproduction in females: the role of the early life environment. Human Reproduction Update, 17(2), 210-227 WOODRUFF, T.K. and C.L. WALKER, 2008. Fetal and Early Postnatal Environmental Exposures and Reproductive Health Effects in the Female. Fertility and sterility, 89(2 Suppl), e47-e51 ZAMBRANO, E. et al., 2014. Fetal programming of sexual development and reproductive function. Molecular and Cellular Endocrinology, 382(1), 538-549

Questionnaire On Marketing In Branded Clothing

The company was established in the year 1994 as a small design studio in a 200 sq. Ft. Space in Chennai; today derby makes its presence through 33 exclusive stores & 238 multibrand outlets across the southern states.Until 2008, the brand’s presence was confined to a single outlet in Chennai. Post 2008, the brand has spread its wings methodically not only in geographic spread but also in its product profile.The brand’s journey to its present size is in fact a mirror image of its promoter’s vision of life- positive, never-say-die & full of life. Mr Vijay Kapoor, the 37 year old managing director of the company, started life in a very humble way as a salesman selling concepts. Today, his vision has turned a phenomenal success that â€Å"derby† is.STORY OF THE COMPANYIn 1994, Vijay Kapoor wanted to launch a strikingly different menswear brand. He was looking for a stand-out name. He chose DERBY. Because the name sounded international. And it cued adventure, fu n, competitiveness, a daring spirit and above all was very macho. The ground rules were very clear. Instead of being all things to everybody, DERBY decided to stay focused on men who seek the very best in whatever they do, whatever they buy. When DERBY entered the fashion market, the field was crowded. But there was no brand offering choice and class in the semi-format segment at an affordable price. DERBY plugged this gap. When it was fashionable for apparel brands to be available at multi-brand outlets, DERBY chose the Exclusive Store route. And consequently, the DERBY Flagship Stores were born. In multi-brand outlets, DERBY opted for a shop-within-a-shop strategy to maintain the air of exclusivity.Derby does not just sell a commodity. It welcomes every new member into a community that stands for freedom & success. Derby Jeans Community is the only brand in the world that works on adding believers rather than just selling to customers. The brand believes in creating the best commu nity around and this community will make a difference in every sphere of life. Freedom & success for everyone!Chennai-based, fast fashion retailer – Derby Clothing, has major expansion plans on the anvil, which include unveiling stores in major fashion capitals across the globe. Plans also include opening flagship stores in Delhi, Mumbai and Pune. It is also open to the idea of opening stores even in smaller towns like Ranchi, Siliguri, Vijayawada, etc.Derby is foraying into all major cities and smaller towns across the country. It is looking to increase the number of stores from the present 34 to 70 by the end of the year. The brand will be present in a number of premium malls and high streets in cities like Mumbai, Pune, Delhi, Chandigarh, Kolkata, Bangalore Durgapur, Bhopal, Jamshedpur, etc.Derby offers varied ranges of denim jeans with fits like slim, slim straight and comfort and in shirts they provide fits like comfort, muscle and slim, mainly targeted at the youngsters . Alongside, Derby is also adding certain product ranges to the current collection to differentiate its offerings, considering that it is expanding in to various parts of the country. Its Autumn/Winter 2011 collection will compromise of a comprehensive collection of jackets, sweatshirts and waistcoats along with fashion denims, shirts, t-shirts, trousers and accessories.Explaining the rational, behind opening stores in smaller towns and cities, Vijay Kapoor, MD – Derby Clothing said, â€Å"Small towns have increasingly developed a higher level of acceptance, for fashion apparel especially in the men’s wear segment. We have been pleasantly surprised by the response we have received in the towns that we currently operate in. This gives us an opportunity to tap other small towns across the country as part of our expansion process†.Revealing their marketing and promotional strategies, he informed, â€Å"Marketing and promotional activities will be directly focused on the youth of the country. Being in a country that has the highest population of youngsters has proven to be an advantage to a youth-centric brand like Derby Jeans Community. On ground activities, rock shows, college cultural functions, fashion shows etc. are part of the marketing strategy that we follow to reach out to the fashionable youth†.Explaining the rationale behind Derby products being branded as fast fashion, he said, â€Å"On an average most jeans wear brands in the country offer 20% fashion products and 80% basic or core products. Derby Jeans Community, on the contrary, offers 80% fashion apparel and only 20% basic or core products. This essentially makes Derby Jeans Community the only truly fashionable men’s Jeans wear brand in the country†.Position of the CompanyThe company recorded a turnover Rs 6 crore in 2000 from its four outlets in Chennai. As part of its expansion plan, the company is planning to take up premium multi-brand concept apart fro m enhancing its network.After the inauguration of the new outlet of Derby Fashion Wear in the city today, the company’s fifth outlet and first in the state, Vijay Kapoor, the managing director of Derby Clothing, said: â€Å"There is a room for value-plus brand and we are on the way to exploit the branded segment. Today’s consumer is fully aware of quality and our product range has been designed for the 22-35 age groups. We will open two more outlets in the city in the next two months. We are aiming at Rs 2 crore turnover in the first year of operation,† he said.Giving details about the future plans, Kapoor said that the company would expand to Karnataka and Kerala next year and the national marketing would also be taken up in 2005. The company has two units at Tirupati and Bangalore with a total capacity of 1,400 garments per day. â€Å"The current requirement is at 1,500 garments per day and we are meeting the extra demand by outsourcing,† Kapoor said.Th e other name for style and sophistication, Derby Clothing is a premium casual and formal wear brand for men renowned for its trendsetting ready to wear collection. Paradise for the ultimate and die hard shopaholics, it offers a wide spectrum of casuals and formal wears made from avant garde fabrics, available in a diverse range of styles and patterns. Largely catering to the city's ever so choosy fashion savvy junta, this Derby Clothing store is housed within the premises of Spencer Plaza in Anna Salai. This 10 years old store, besides its impressive and exclusive line up of clothing has an eye catching array of funky accessories that include belts and ties which you can club with your attire. You can indulge into its staggering collection of apparels and accessories on any day of the week from 9:45 AM to 9 PM. Derby Clothing also accepts all major credit cards.

The Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground Laws

Recent events involving the use of deadly force by private individuals have brought the so-called Castle Doctrine and stand your ground laws under intense public scrutiny. Both based on the universally acknowledged right of self-defense, what are these increasingly controversial legal principles?   Stand your ground laws allow people who believe they face a reasonable threat of death of great bodily harm to meet force with force rather than retreat from their attacker. Similarly, Castle Doctrine laws allow persons who are being attacked while in their homes to use force—including deadly force—in self-defense, often without the need to retreat.   Currently, more than half of the states in the U.S. have some forms of Castle Doctrine or stand your ground laws.   Castle Doctrine Theory The Castle Doctrine originated as a  theory of early common law, meaning it was a universally accepted natural right of self-defense rather than a formally written law. Under its common law interpretation, the Castle Doctrine gives people the right to use deadly force to defend their home, but only after having used every reasonable means to avoid doing so and trying to retreat safely from their attacker.   While some states still apply the common law interpretation, most states have enacted written, statutory versions of Castle Doctrine laws specifically spelling out what is required or expected of persons before resorting to the use of deadly force. Under such Castle Doctrine laws, defendants facing  criminal charges who successfully prove they acted in self-defense according to the law may be fully cleared of any wrongdoing.  Ã‚   Castle Doctrine Laws in Court   In actual legal practice, formal state Castle Doctrine laws limit where, when, and who can legally use deadly force. As in all cases involving self-defense, defendants must prove their actions were justified under the law. The burden of proof is on the defendant.   Even though the Castle Doctrine statutes differ by state, many states utilize the same basic requirements for a successful Castle Doctrine defense. The four typical elements of a successful Castle Doctrine defense are:   The defendant must have been inside his or her home when attacked and the building must be the defendants regular place of residence. Attempts to apply the Castle Doctrine to defend the use of deadly force during attacks that happen in the defendants yard or lot, but outside the home, typically fail.  There must have been an actual attempt to illegally enter the defendants home. Merely standing threateningly at the door or on the lawn will not qualify. In addition, the Castle Doctrine does not apply if the defendant had allowed the victim into the home, but decided to force them to leave.In most states, the use of deadly force must have been reasonable under the circumstances. Typically, defendants who are unable to prove they were in actual danger of physical injury will not be allowed to claim defense under a Castle Doctrine law.Some states still apply the common law Castle Doctrine edict that defendants have some level of duty to retreat or avoid the confrontation before using d eadly force. Most state castle laws no longer require defendants to flee from their homes before using deadly force.   In addition, persons claiming the Castle Doctrine as a defense cannot have started or have been the aggressor in the confrontation that resulted in the charges against them.   The Castle Doctrine Duty to Retreat   By far the most-often  challenged element of the Castle Doctrine is the defendants duty to retreat from the intruder. While the older common law interpretations required defendants to have made some effort to retreat from their attacker or avoid the conflict, most state laws no longer impose a duty to retreat. In these states, defendants are not required to have fled from their home or to another area of their home before using deadly force.   At least 17 states impose some form of duty to retreat before using deadly force in self-defense. Since the states remain split on the issue, attorneys advise that persons should fully understand the Castle Doctrine and duty to retreat laws in their state.   Stand Your Ground Laws State-enacted stand your ground laws—sometimes called no duty to retreat laws—are often used as an allowable defense in criminal cases involving the use of deadly force by defendants who literally stood their ground, rather than retreating, in order to defend themselves and others against actual or reasonably perceived threats of bodily harm. In general, under stand your ground laws, private individuals who are in any place they have a lawful right to be at the time may be justified in using any level of force whenever they reasonably believe they face an imminent and immediate threat of great bodily injury or death.   Persons who were engaged in illegal activities, such as drug deals or robberies, at the time of the confrontation are typically not entitled to the protections of stand your ground laws.   In essence, stand your ground laws effectively extend the protections of the Castle Doctrine from the home to any place a person has a legal right to be. Currently, 28 states have legislatively enacted stand your ground laws. Another eight states apply the legal principles of stand your ground laws though courtroom practices, such as citation of past case law as precedent and judges instructions to juries.   Stand Your Ground Law Controversy   Critics of stand your ground laws, including  many gun control advocacy groups, often call them â€Å"shoot first† or â€Å"get away with murder† laws that make it difficult to prosecute people who shoot others claiming they acted in self-defense. They argue that in many cases the only eyewitness to the incident who could have testified against the defendants claim of self-defense is dead.Prior to passage of Floridas stand your ground law, Miami police chief John F. Timoney called the law dangerous and unnecessary. Whether its trick-or-treaters or kids playing in the yard of someone who doesnt want them there or some drunk guy stumbling into the wrong house, youre encouraging people to possibly use deadly physical force where it shouldnt be used, he said.   The Trayvon Martin Shooting The fatal shooting of teenager Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman in February 2012, brought â€Å"stand your ground† laws squarely into the public spotlight. Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch captain in Sanford, Florida, gunned down the unarmed 17-year-old Martin minutes after reporting to the police that he had spotted a suspicious youth walking through the gated community. Despite being told by police to stay in his SUV, Zimmerman pursued Martin on foot. Moments later, Zimmerman confronted Martin and admitted to shooting him in self-defense after a brief scuffle. Sanford police reported that Zimmerman was bleeding from the nose and back of the head. As a result of the police investigation, Zimmerman was charged with second degree murder. At trial, Zimmerman was acquitted based on the jury’s finding that he had acted in self-defense. After reviewing the shooting for potential civil rights violations, the federal Department of Justice, citing insufficient evidence, filed no additional charges.   Before his trial, Zimmermans defense hinted that they would ask the court to drop the charges under Floridas stand your ground self-defense law. The law enacted in 2005, allows individuals to use deadly force when they reasonably feel they are at risk of great bodily harm while engaged in a confrontation.   While Zimmermans lawyers never argued for a dismissal based on the stand your ground law, the trial judge instructed the jury that Zimmerman had had a right to stand his ground and use deadly force if reasonably necessary to defend himself.

Benjamin Banneker on Slavery in America - 812 Words

Discrimination and degeneration of different races had once lasted for two centuries in America. Those trafficked by white people became slaves sold in auctions were commonly abused by their masters. Slaves were compelled to perform labor everyday for seven years until they are released. Benjamin Banneker was son of a former slaves, a man who wrote a letter Thomas Jefferson regarding to the possibility to abolish slavery. Through the use of emotional diction, tone, and religious allusion, Banneker emphasizes his idea of freeing slaves of America. Banneker’s word choice takes a large role in his letter considering how it represents his bold stance and idea to Jefferson. Banneker used compelling detailed phrases in his sentences, in particular â€Å"I entreat you on the variety of dangers to which you were exposed† (Line 4), â€Å"It was now, sir, that your abhorrence thereof was so excited, that you publickly held forth this true and valuable doctrine,†(Line 17), â€Å"But, sir, how pitiable is it to reflect that although you were so fully convinced of the benevolence of the Father of mankind and of his equal and impartial distribution of those rights and privileges which he had conferred upon them† (Line 30), â€Å"That you should at the same time counteract his mercies in detaining by fraud and violence so numerous a part of my brethren under groaning captivity and cruel oppression†(Line 35). The phrases, â€Å"I entreat you† (Line 4), â€Å"your abhorrence thereof was so excited† (Line 17), â€Å"howShow MoreRelatedThomas Jefferson Rhetorical Analysis1011 Words   |  5 PagesMy rhetorical analysis is about a free African-American almanac writer, naturalist, and farmer who fought against slavery and who earned the recognition of many high officials of the time, including Thomas Jefferson. As D.L. Chandler pointed out, Benjamin Banneker, wrote to Thomas Jefferson, on August 19, 1791, to condemn the practice o f slavery in the United States. Banneker attempted to persuade Thomas Jefferson of his forbearance of slave practices and the fact that he owned slaves yet pronouncedRead MoreThe Whining Nigger and Benjamin Banneker1344 Words   |  6 Pagesconstruct created during America’s Colonial period. It was supposedly used to negatively describe an African-American men who spoke out against what they considered to be an incongruous and xenophobic society and more specifically the institution of slavery. The phrase’s essence had been intentionally misconstrued. The three words together were said to have been used by whites as a dismissive tool; a method of sabotaging the validity of an outspoken Black man’s claims of an unjust and oppressive systemRead MoreRhetorical Analysis Of Benjamin Banneker821 Words   |  4 Pages In 1791 Benjamin Banneker, the son of a former slave, wrote a letter to Thomas Jefferson, framer of the Declaration of Independence and secretary of st ate to President George Washington, arguing against slavery. Banneker constructs an argument in his letter to persuade Jefferson of the cruelty and inhumanity that slavery entails. Motivated by the desire to convince Jefferson to abolish slavery, Banneker appeals to pathos by comparing slavery to the American Revolution, appeals to logos by referencingRead MoreRhetorical Analysis Of Benjamin Bannekers Letter To Thomas Jefferson958 Words   |  4 PagesThe quote delivered by the passionate and determined Benjamin Banneker states, â€Å"The present freedom and tranquility which you enjoy you have mercifully received and that it is the peculiar blessing of Heaven† (Banneker 10). As young man of parents who were both treated unfairly and living under the gates of slavery, Banneker expresses how those with freedom take it for granted and don’t realize what a blessing it truly is. He wants all slaves or people who are treated poorly to enjoy life of freedomRead MoreAnalysi s Of The Book Clotel Or The Presidents Daughter 1521 Words   |  7 PagesThe President’s Daughter, Williams Wells Brown’s use of irony as Europe, particularly France, as a pivotal setting for the liberation of African Americans from the bondage of slavery, by virtue of its political and social demeanor, contrasted from the United States of America. In the Letter Exchange between Benjamin Banneker and Thomas Jefferson, Banneker’s letter reinforces the situational irony when he argues, â€Å"Sir, suffer me to recall to your mind that time in which the arms and tyranny of theRead MoreThe State Of Virginia By Thomas Jefferson1277 Words   |  6 PagesThomas Jefferson created two facades when it came to racism and slavery. Thomas Jefferson had a personal history with slavery and owning a plantation, but in certain instances he appeared to support equality like in his letter to Benjamin Banneker. Different texts like Notes on the State of Virginia by Thomas Jeffe rson with the related documents edited by David Waldstreicher, and Banneker and Jefferson Letter Exchange are examples of the hypocrisy committed by Jefferson. This connects to modern dayRead MoreThomas Jefferson s Influence On Modern Day Democracy1616 Words   |  7 PagesDay Democracy and Racism Thomas Jefferson created two facades when it came to racism and slavery. Thomas Jefferson had a personal history with slavery and owning a plantation, but in certain instances he appeared to support equality like in his letter to Benjamin Banneker. Different texts like Notes on the State of Virginia by Thomas Jefferson with the related documents edited by David Waldstreicher, and Banneker and Jefferson Letter Exchange are examples of the hypocrisy committed by Jefferson. ThisRead MoreSlavery in the United States Essays1030 Words   |  5 PagesA historian once wrote that the rise of liberty and equality in America was accompanied by slavery. There is truth in that statement to great effect. The rise of America in general was accompanied by slavery and the settlers learned early on that slavery would be an effective way to build a country and create free labor. There was a definite accompaniment of slavery with the rising of liberty and equality in America. In 1787, in Philadelphia at the Constitutional Convention, the structure of governmentRead More A Brief Biography of Benjamin Banneker 599 Words   |  2 Pagesfor two centuries in America. Those trafficked by white people became slaves sold in auditions were strained and were commonly abused by their masters. Slaves were compelled to perform vigorous labor everyday for seven years in hope for a day that their master will release them. Benjamin Banneker was a son of a former slave who had wrote a letter to ex-US Secretary of State, Thomas Jefferson in hope for Jefferson to take role in part of abrogating enslavement. Although Banneker was born as a free manRead MoreBenjamin Banneker Rhetorical Analysis1326 Words   |  6 PagesBanneker Analysis After the Revolutionary War, and while America was still trying to establish itself, it faced many problems in society, including the issue of race and slavery. There were many Americans who viewed blacks as inferior beings who should be confined to a life of slavery. Thomas Jefferson, the father of The Declaration of Independence, was one of those people. In 1791, Benjamin Banneker, a free and educated black man, responded to Jefferson’s work,c Notes on the State of Virginia, which